Life Isn't Easy
by Peter Hawes
I'm going through a pretty rough time at the moment and I've noticed a lot of my friends and people I work with are too.
It stumps me when I hear comments like life's not easy is it? Or Jeez I wish life was easier.
What is wrong with you people?
Life's not meant to be easy ffs.
Why would you want it to be easy?
I cant understand this as I have always seen that life is a journey of growing and learning and yes it's hard damn hard and painful a lot of the time.
But fucken awesome those hard painful experiences are where I have learnt the most about myself and life and where I have grown the most.
I had a few good people in my life once who told me that you have to hurt to heal and I think that’s true.
Working for years in mental health I was a rescuer and in doing that I saw eventually that I robbed a lot of people of there learning experiences to protect them from pain, yet it was those painful and hard experiences that made me the man I am today.
When I pulled back and allowed them to go through the the pain I saw these people shattered and broken emerge like a phoenix from the ashes into such wonderful people who by all means own there own recovery.
Life is glorious yes its hard but such a wonderful journey and if you don’t understand how to interoperate it properly your going to have trouble.
There is a reason for all pain in life.
When I was in the program I designed to cure people of voices and that program which cured me of my own external voices that was hard but I learnt a lot (see my other article A Testament to Survival)
After those voices left I had all these emotions I either had not felt before or was not aware of and I had to learn to process them.
I spent 3 nights homeless on a park bench alone with my emotions and it was painful but I worked something out at least something about myself.
I was right my voices were the manifestation of my suppressed emotions and as spoken about in my book were metaphorical.
But it went further then that now feeling emotions again and aware of them I realized emotions are also metaphorical and there to guide us through life.
I think we can all agree that emotional pain is far more intense then physical pain by now.
But lets relate it to physical pain for the sake of the argument.
So you accidentally get a knife in your leg, lets say your trying to cut something and slip and the knife goes in your leg.
PAIN PAIN PAIN.
Then what happens?
Most people would either remove it and be in more pain and go to the hospital or go to the hospital straight away and get some help.
Brain says pain body takes action.
After going to the hospital and getting the knife wound seen too the pain dissipates.
Lets just say later the wound gets infected and needs to be seen to by a Dr again. How do we know that cause it hurts like a bastard and we take action.
Well from those 3 nights on a park bench scared alone and reliving my past and present with so much emotions I was not used to feeling I figured out that emotions are the same.
They are there to guide us to a better life for us.
GUILT is an awesome emotions and truly responsible for a lot of my self growth and improvement.
Felt guilty about the things I did awesome so examining those things and now what can I do about them? How can I amend my mistakes or learn from them. Great thanks guilt you helped me with that one.
Anger - A protective emotion usually secondary to hurt.
Hurt – wow I feel really hurt by these actions I should discuss this with those people, oh there not listening or continuing the hurtful behaviors awesome I will remove toxic people from my life.
You guys get the idea.
At the time of writing this I am in the middle of an emotional breakdown and getting a bunch of therapy.
Is it easy? hell no. Do I cry myself to sleep most nights? Yep, am I stressed out of my brain? Yes yes I am.
What are my thoughts about that? Fucking awesome I am learning so much more now about myself and my needs and how to move towards a more productive and stable life for myself.
So I say to life bring it on be as difficult as you want throw it all at me cause at the end of the day your just giving me more opportunities to learn and grow as a person and learn to make the right choices to improve my life.
Just remember guys there is no problem that cant be fixed only solutions we haven't found yet and no problem too big that cant be broken down into lots of smaller problems and solutions.
So going through a hard time?
Keep your friends and supports close and look for what you can learn from this to better your life.
What are your emotions trying to tell you?
Hang in there guys you will all survive this and come out shining.
I BELIEVE IN YOU ALL SO YOU SHOULD TOO.